I lightly knockedon Steve’s bedroom and called his name. Steve opened the door and wasdressed in light-blue cotton-striped pajamas.I acted very demure and feminine. I looked up into his eyes. Steve isquite a bit taller and bigger than me, so I needed to bend my neck andlook up. I wished I could wear my heels to be taller, but wearing heelswould look stupid. I moved in close to Steve’s body to give him a “hug”.This “goodnight hug” had been Julie’s tip as well. She told me that oncea guy started hugging and kissing you in a situation like this, he wouldnever be able to stop. Steve wrapped his arms around me. His musculararms and chest felt so strong and I felt so secure being held like that.I was still nervous though for the next step. I craned my neck andlooked up into his eyes.“A goodnight kiss?”I said in a half-whisper hoping he would not resist. I tried to make myeyes and my whole body desirable for him. I tried to relax and feelcalm. This was the decisive moment. If it went wrong. Ones my friends say would be good for me. I broke his things when he was gone. I’d slip into our closet and find seashells he collected, just one or two, not instantly noticeable and take them to the laundry room in the Big House, as the girls call it. I’d take one at a time on the blue counter-top. I remembered when we chose the house. The laundry room was a plus and one reason of many we moved there. I didn’t think to protect the counter though. My method left minimal damage to the place where I folded clothes and dusted, I would shatter the thing softly if it was breakable in that way. With a hammer against the counter-top. If it wasn’t sometimes I would twist his pliable things and misfile his papers. Shattered the sea shells then cleaned them up. I had to stop myself, once I swung harder than before smashing the shit out of his cassette tapes. One by one. It seemed to energize me and I lusted for harder strokes until I saw the window shake above the counter-top and felt pieces.
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